From The Roundhole

Bullshit nature survivor shows. It seems that every nature show you see on TV nowadays has one or two guys trying to convince the audience that they are always just on the verge of being killed, eaten, freezing to death or some other BS. It's like as an audience, they assume that we all seem to be so stupid that we can't possibly realize that the film crew, lights etc do not exist. And that at any second it could all be over. Sigh...and almost all of them now have a Aussie accent.

Dead animals are not good decorations. I simply do not understand this. I even saw a man pick up a free dead animal at a garage sale stating "This will look good on the wall eh?" Geezus!

And another thing. Tractor tires are not good decorations either. I have seen plenty of houses with big tractor tires, and for some odd reason they are always painted green, at the end of peoples driveways. The other day I saw a house with a huge wooden structure out front and two (painted green) tractor tires that had been hoisted up on poles on either side of the driveway. They were huge. Someone actually planned and paid to have this happen.

Litter. Or...more to the point, people who litter. I simply do not understand how someone can be in a beautiful place, even remarking to their little heathen children how pretty it is here, only to toss their trash on the ground 10 feet from a trash can and walk away. Or sitting at a stoplight and throw garbage out the window. What is wrong with these people? I'm not sure if anything else spins me up quite that fast. I would like to find out where they live, and back a garbage truck up to their front porch and pull the dump lever. What fun!!! There is a book by Carl Haaisan called Sick Puppy. The main character in the book seems to have the same problem as I...he's my hero lol.

I have no idea why, but I posted a new rant in the journal section...look there lol.

OK Fine....I will post it here :)

One dank and dark, despair and pain,

 the other bright and harsh.

Overwhelming.

There is a fine line

between sadness and madness.

Wonderful :-)

I have struggled and fought with this. Not in the ways that you might think, but in other, less obvious ways. When I tell someone something under the premise that what I am telling them changes nothing in their future, but simply eliminates a painful present about the past, am I truly being kind to them? Or am I simply masking myself of a truth that makes me look at who I am, and what I have done or not done. Possibly my answer is in motive, and knowing who I am really protecting. Sometimes I fear it is me.

She had it right I think. "Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose."

I was speaking to someone the other day, an arsty kind of guy who had his dreams in making movies. He said he needed a new name before he became famous :) We talked about how boring his was, and tried to come up with something more hollywoodish. So...have you ever thought about having a different name? Play along folks...what would it be? A few of you know that mine would be Logan.

Your turn.

My dog laughed at me today. What a wonderful thing. I guess he never saw me dance before.

I have came to believe that it is through the greatest pain and adversity that the greatest accomplishments have been made. Great need breeds the greatest of desire. That desire is the fuel for the best accomplishments. Get ready world...I'm coming.

Quietly of course :)

A little green house, nothing big, by the water. Maybe just two bedrooms and a small deck. Something with a garage that I can build things in. That doesn't sound like too much does it?

It occurs to me that not only is there a rhythm to life, there is certainly a balance as well. For every action, you know what's coming :-) ... an equal and opposite reaction. Every decision comes at a price. What would have happened if we had chosen differently? Where would we be now. This can be broken down unto the smallest element of our lives I think. Down to minutes in time, seconds even. How fast is a fleeting thought? They all matter. Hopefully, our ( ok, mine ) decisions maintain some kind of balance. The good equals the bad. We try to do our best with what information we have at the time. That is all we can really do no? I met a man once who was old and happy. He had been married a very long time. It surprised me when he said he would change nothing in his life, even if given the chance. Nothing. He had no regrets, none at all.

I am not that man.

Modified 12-27-06...

Yet.

That's what happens when you can't move forward, and can't move back. Like quicksand.

It is hard to stop a downward spiral, no end, no beginning to see. Just down. Crap...lol.

It's interesting to me that two different people can view, live, witness etc. the same exact event and have a totally different take on it. So different that the other questions "were you even there?" Our perception certainly is the door to our reality. What we think...is. What we believe to be the truth, is the truth. Possibly it all comes down to attitude.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how the world stays in sync, how things go smoothly, how things work, and how they do not. I think much of this has to do with rhythm. The tides have it, the moon knows it, and the earth itself has its own seasons and rhythm. Even we do, heartbeat, breathing, everything has a pace, a pace that needs to be kept or chaos follows. It exists in beautiful music, flowing poetry and even the way a flower opens in the morning and a leaf tumbles in the fall. I think if we become more aware of what is the rhythm for our actions, we would be more successful in all things. Most especially love. Besides, have you ever seen anyone dance out of step?

I feel it in my chest, it pulls at the innermost parts of me.

Lupus rises to the surface, the ocean is moved by its mood alone.

What was once dark is no more, sometimes.

Made more frightening by its friend-enemy, fog.

Older than evil, younger than love.

A delight for some, not so for me. I feel it.

It pulls me. Pushes me. And it makes sense to me.