From The Roundhole

 

Just thought you might enjoy an odd cloud shot taken only with a cell phone :-)

Well, I have moved so many times in the last 3 years it is not funny. I will soon be moving again though, this time to the coast where the weather is perfect all year and I won't (crossing fingers here) have to drive on a dirt road to go home. Black cars hate dirt roads. (Speaking of cars, I have a little car I like quite a bit, and have been needing a place to store pics of it to share with others. So..if you see any crop up, this is documentary photography and probably holds no value to anyone else unless you have a car just like this one. That of course would put you in a fairly exclusive group.)

Hopefully this move will allow me to stay in one place for a while. It's hard to learn some things about yourself when everything is always temporary. Permanance is something I find myself looking forward to.

I used to go fishing quite often. Weekends at the lake with family and friends were always nice, and I have fond memories :-)

There is a little alpine lake up in the mountains where I live now. Not very big, one could walk all the way around it in a half an hour. Last time I was there I saw little trout swimming about. This morning I am going to go see if there are any bigger ones for dinner. This should make Annie happy as a clam lol.

OK. How many of you have picked up a magazine only to have 3 or 4 subscription cards fall out? Usually they are copies of the same exact thing, and really serve no real purpose. Apparently as you leaf through the pages, and see not one, not two but three or four of these things, you are suddenly supposed to exclaim "Wow, I didn't want to subscribe after the first one, or two, or three, but now that you've told me what a great deal this is for the fourth time I can see the light! I'm sending my money right away!" Please. Even Mother earth news had three of the damn things.  Now, I have not done the math, and if any one cares to help I would love to be able to figure out how many mags, times an average of three cards, factored over an average year...how many hundreds of acres of forest are needed to print these? It is ridiculous. Even if the paper is recycled, it still must come from an original source and could easily be used for many other things.

So...here is what I propose. I spoke with the Postmaster general of my local post office and found out that if these cards 'accidentally' were to find their way into a mailbox somewhere, even if they are blank, the post office must mail them. AND...the magazine companies and or their publishers must still pay the postage. Imagine that. A better message might be to write 'Stop killing trees needlessly' on the silly thing. What would happen to these companies if everyone who reads a magazine mailed every one of these cards? I can only imagine how quickly this nonsense would stop. This is such a good idea I think it needs its own section lol.

Well, yesterday I started a vacation that will run until the end of the month. Unplanned as it was, it is nice to have time off from a seriously stupid work schedule. At the first of the month I need to decide many things. I will be moving, yet again. Most likely to the coast. WooHoo. Nice weather and lots of water. A new job will be in order. Hopefully this time something I enjoy and not something I simply put up with because the bills need to be paid. The nicest part of all of this is that I will be moving with someone, trying to start something new with promise.

And the rants are still coming :-)

It's coming, I can feel it. Woo.

I realized today that I have not always lived a life of conviction. Genuiness etc. I no longer just want to give lip service to my beliefs. I want to live them, even when its not the easiet thing to do. Exercise instead of just talking about it. Putting priorities in order of need instead of want. (I'm still going to get a supercharger lol) anyways...I'll let ya'll know how it goes :-)

Today I saw an honest man lie to make dollar.

Today I heard a loving couple plot to save a few more.

Today I listened to a friend cry, because she had no money.

Today I watched a father lie in front of his children, to get a better deal.

Today I witnessed a coworker tattle on another so that his own job might be saved.

Today I realized that I do not put enough importance on money.  I simply must work on my priorities.

It occured to me today that a lot of the time I seem to be looking for some kind of permanance. A job that I can keep and retire from. A relationship that I can grow old and die in. Friends who become old friends. Even a passion that consumes me and somehow give me pleasure above all other things. But...life for me is not like that. Life for me is very temporary. Maybe the secret is learning that, and just not trying to change what is.

So, most of the time when I am sad or happy I know why. But have you ever just had a really happy day for no reason. Or an equally sad one that you just can't put your finger on why you feel like you do?

I think I must be crazy sometimes :-)

We have a man at my work that seemed to have all that most Americans strive for. Nice house, beautiful wife, great job etc. Recently he gave it all up and he and his wife moved to a small island. I wonder about that. What's important. What we need. And what can allow us to experience the most happiness in our lives. I don't hear an Island song calling me, but there has to be something. Somewhere. Sigh.

I did something new today. Cross country skiing. Wow. I have muscles I didnt know exsisted. Well...Ok, I knew they were there, just never heard  them scream before lol. What fun. My fall down rate seems to be once per mile. One would think you would get up faster :)

You know, sadness is a strange thing sometimes. Mostly, I and everyone else knows why they are saddened about something, or why they feel as they do about a certain situation. Then, sometimes you feel so sad, and you cannot put your finger on it. Maybe it is an accumulation of little things, maybe it is something you missed, or didn't even realize. And sometimes it is the oddest little thing that can make you so upset it is confusing. something as insignificant as a burn pile.

OK, so...I sleep on an air mattress instead of a bed. Now...this is much nicer than it sounds. This is a pretty nice thing, two levels, queen sized with a built in pump. I filled it up months ago and have not touched it since. But...the other night I was lying there, just minding my own business and the oddest thing happened. You see...it has seams going from top to bottom, about six inches apart, here I am minding my own business then all of a sudden, underneath my butt, one of the seams lets go. And rises me up in the air rather forcibly. Stop laughing. It scared the hell out of me. I thought something was getting me from below. I mean it...stop laughing. Now along with this sudden 'lifting' of my nether region, it made this awful ripping noise. Really added to the pucker factor let me tell ya. Now, I may be able to return it, I don't know yet, but it does have this top to bottom hump that you can throw your leg across and lean your face up against. And that...is almost better than sleeping alone.

I have been thinking about ending my little place on the web. I'm not sure if it serves much of a purpose anymore. Unless someone can come up with a reason, I'm going to do that.

Today was an interesting day. I saw and felt my own emotions go from up to down, to crashing at the bottom where trust and belief was a thing of the past and back up again. What an interesting ride it was. At one moment I really didn't care about anything, and another I saw hope and promise clearly. It's pretty amazing how a few simply words or a small gesture can affect people as I was affected so severely today. Once again it has taught me to be careful how I interact with others. You never really know where someone else is in their mind. And certainly I don't ever want to be anybodies last straw.

I learned today with some finality that some things can never be undone. Some things no longer matter to anyone but me. And that some things, no matter how insignificant to the rest of the universe, will forever change our future.

I finally have gotten an old computer hooked up. albiet slow and partially disabled. it is nice to be able to get on the web again, get emails on something larger than my phone, and of course be here, in this place :-)

Guess that's all for now, you would think I would have more to say after being away but...yall will just have to wait!

There is something on my mind...maybe tonight.

Well, I am on a friends computer. Mine has finally given up and since the new operating system is out in a few weeks i am going to wait until i replace it so you will probably not see an update here for a while. Not that you will miss much :-)

I have been told that at this time of the year the coast of Oregon sometimes experiences some very violent storms. Winds at 90 or even 100 miles per hour. Huge waves smashing into the coast etc. I would like to see this I think. I am not sure why the greatest forces of mother nature intrigue me so, but there is something almost spiritual to me to feel it for myself. One of my favorite photographs is a man standing on a lighthouse with monstrous waves crashing all around him. I can't imagine how that would be, but it must be wonderful. I need to look into this more :-) Maybe a couple day vacation is due!